January 2012
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“This sentence has five words. Here are five more words. Five-word sentences are...”
– Gary Provost (via survivingoffhope)
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“I hate when I’m at the Golden Globes and some dude hands me Meryl Streep’s...”
– David Fincher (via -labyrinth)
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With that dress, is Natalie Portman preparing for a new role as one of Cinderella’s evil stepsisters?
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The Artist won more Golden Globes than any other movie you probably didn’t see.
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“If you looked up ‘Awesome’ in the dictionary, you’d find a...”
– me, texting my cousin at 2:24 AM
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btw waiters seriously need to reevaluate their recommendations on certain dishes. I asked if this burger was really spicy and Brandon (le super nice waiter) said it was completely mild, and you could hardly tell there were even any jalapenos in it because of the way it was prepared. UM IT WAS NOT MILD. Despite what he would’ve said, I was still going to get it because it looked completely...
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Some random attractive girl looked me straight in the eyes, and said “You’re really pretty.” It genuinely meant a lot to me coming from someone wearing cat ears and a tail.
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THIS IS WHAT I HAVE TO DEAL WITH.
Yess!!!! NINERS BABY, YEAH!!!
THIS IS SAN FRANCISCO BABY!!!! LET’S GO #49ers
Dear Raiders and Stealers fans…. no matter what happens today…. YOU LET HIM BEAT YOU (pic of athlete)
niners are tearing shit up
what’s that saints??? Oh right, you aint got shit to say now.
TOUCHDOWN BABY!!!! DAVIS YEAA BUDDY!!! Feeling better now :)) Lets go Niners!!!
Idgaf ! Im...
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Damn, my new homie Snoops is way too preoccupied with Twitter follower counts. Over 6 mil, and trying for more? Come on, Dogg. I’m happy when I gain one non-porn follower!
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I follow certain people on Twitter for the sole purpose of being able to mention them in my tweets should I ever want to do so.
I’m looking at you, Snoop Dogg.
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down for bjs?
let’s get bjs!
can’t wait for bjs tonight!
I love bjs!
so when do you want to get bjs?
you looking forward to bjs tomorrow night?
our bjs nights are the best!
You always have to be careful with your wording when texting about the restaurant, BJs.
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I am currently having four different cat-related conversations with four different people online.
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Pretty sure there’s lettuce somewhere in my plate of grated parmesan, croutons, and salad dressing!
Do People Who Type Like This Realize That They’re Doing Something Wrong, Or Do They Just Think They’re Being Totally Normal And Super Cool?
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I often find myself HOL (hissing out loud) when:
a Youtube video is blocked in my country
someone responds with something other than what I had planned for them to respond with
a URL I like is taken so I cannot hoard it
my friend (Hah! What friend?) bumps into me
a celebrity I like doesn’t follow me on Twitter even though I follow them (Hello! I do exist, mate)
I accidentally hit “send” before a text is worthy of being...
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WatchCNN, this is why you can’t have nice things (like our respect).
Status: I just had a sandwich. It was delicious.
Comment (from relative over the age of 40): Hello Jim! I hope you're doing fantastic down where you are. I was just looking through some old pictures of you as a child and realized just how precious you were. LOL! When are you coming back up to visit? Your Uncle Jeff and I can't wait to see you again. We've got plenty of chores for you to do up here to help around the house. LOL! Just kidding Jim! How's your mother? I hope you're helping her out and being a good kid! But I have nothing to worry about, you're always a great kid! LOL! Hope all is well.
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“When I started making those weird voices, a lot of people told me how whack it...”
– Nicki Minaj (BlackBook Magazine)
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why does will.i.am exist?
seriously
I don’t get it
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just realized something
I. LIKE. WORKING. OUT. WHAT.
