I wish I was alone on the moon with no other living creatures around, except maybe for some snow white kittens. together we would crawl around in the craters and I would pour water into the smaller craters for them so they could drink and remain hydrated and we could just sit around meowing at each other

and then one day I’d be leading them on an escapade across the moon, and we’d walk and walk and walk for hours and we’d come across an enormous crater, bigger than any we’d ever seen before, and inside it would be a disoriented Justin Timberlake clad in little to no clothing and he’d become my friend and we’d live alone on the moon with all of our kittens and breathing/gravity would somehow never even be an issue for us or for the kittens because our adventurous spirit would sustain us

• a Youtube video is blocked in my country
• someone responds with something other than what I had planned for them to respond with
• a URL I like is taken so I cannot hoard it
• my friend (Hah! What friend?) bumps into me
• a celebrity I like doesn’t follow me on Twitter even though I follow them (Hello! I do exist, mate)
• I accidentally hit “send” before a text is worthy of being sent
• someone interrupts me while I’m concentrating on doing something important (You do not interrupt a genius!!!1!)
• I switch to a radio station right as a song I really like is ending
• I’m at a coffee shop and someone dares to cut in front of me in line
• a cat doesn’t want to play with me (Screw you too, meowtherfucker)

“pot ledom is top model spelled backwards.” tyra you are so full of yourself. I can only hope that one day I can be at least half as self-obsessed as you are.

except not really. I do want the $$$ though so I can buy a lifetime supply of meow mix for my future 190,283,904 cats.